The Dark Side

Ok.

I don't post as often as I would like. Truthfully, I have very little to say. But when the muse comes it seems that I can have diarrhea of the mouth. Or I can meander without any stringing together of any kind of thoughts (like that last sentence).

Now then, why would people want to share the deepest darkest sides of themselves on the internet for all to see? I can think of a couple of reasons off the top of my head. One of them is that they're lonely. These people spend a lot of time alone, they're perhaps unmarried, don't really feel like they contribute to life in their immediate reality. Perhaps that is what drives them to the internet.

Others really want to connect. They value other people. Or they miss friends from years ago. Social networks provide a great place to do that.

So, both have elements of loneliness. Both are attempts at connecting. Connecting. There is a contemporary word. It suggests being joined to something. Internet. People. God. Ideas, dreams, goals. We all have a need to connect, right.

I've learned and have come to believe that there are four very important areas we all need to connect. We need to connect to:

MYSELF--my thoughts, feelings, wants needs. Recognizing, owning, accepting what it is like to be me.
THE TRUTH--What is real. Beyond just my perspective, bigger than me. It's objective, can be seen by others.
SAFE OTHER--could be a spouse or a friend. But that "other" is available at this moment and vulnerable at this moment.
GOD--and here it is the fact that there can be relationship. God is always available. God is always vulnerable. What does that look like? As a Christian I see God's vulnerability in Jesus because Jesus came to love and was rejected by men. They hung him on a cross!

That's what I think about. I have also been thinking about shame and connectedness. Shame is this negative, sapping energy that many of us may feel sometimes crippling us so we give love or receive it. I know I do. I feel it a lot. I feel it because of a "disconnectedness" with those things above. Shame wants to hide, cover up, run away. All of those things I've done. Not vulnerable with others. I hide on the internet by creating a persona of what I want people to think about me, etc. Or perhaps life is too complicated. I didn't sign up for this. My marriage is far too difficult. My kids are disappointing me. It doesn't matter really. The fact is there is a disconnect somewhere. It's important for us to find it and fix it, or at least respond to it. Sometimes we can't fix it. How many of us try? We try to atone for wrongs we have committed--and that is definitely appropriate at times. Or we try to perform some penance that will assuage our consciences. But the truth is a clean conscience doesn't really occur until some sort approach occurs. Biblically, this begins with confession. A simple word meaning, "saying the same thing as."

There is good shame and bad shame. When we do real wrong we need to be ashamed. But we also need to go onto real absolution. Bad shame is when we seek someone's forgiveness and we don't receive it.

That makes me think again about the story of Adam's fall. He and the woman (that's how the Bible refers to her in the beginning). It was the cool of the morning when they (Adam and his wife) heard the sound of the LORD GOD in the garden and they hid themselves. Why? Because they did something that God had forbidden. Originally they were naked and not ashamed of their nakedness--some commentators point out was because they were "clothed" with innocence and the glory of God. When they sinned their eyes were opened and they hid themselves. From each other? Possibly. From God? Definitely. So they sewed some fig leave together to cover their "loins," to cover their nakedness. They had real shame. They sinned against God, with whom they were in relationship with. See, the point is they were disconnected from God and from each other. This is true in how we see Adam and his wife respond to God's inquiry, "Who told you that you were naked?" Adam blamed his wife (nothing much has changed about that) and the woman admitted that she was deceived by the serpent. The rest of the story accounts God's judgment of the man his wife and creation (you can read the full account in Genesis 2 and three). So that's why things are as they are, right? It's a bad world and we just have to get along with it.

Well, not so fast. You see, one very important detail is that God had to "fashion" skins to cover their nakedness. There are a couple of things to remember here. Adam's attempts to cover his nakedness, while sufficient for Adam, were inadequate for God. Simply, sin could only be atoned for through the death of another not in the sewing together of some fig leaves. Although Scripture is silent about the event, in all likelihood, both Adam and Eve watched the LORD GOD take the life of another animal (in this case a lamb) and take the skin of that animal to provide for them clothing. Again, theologians refer to this as a type. It is the antecedent of what was to come--Jesus, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. In other words, God atoned for their sin. The offended took steps to love and forgive those who created the offense--can you imagine the looks on their faces when they saw this new side of God's glory? Second, this would be the foundation upon which Adam and Eve were to build their future lives together. We don't know how often they were to perform this ritual but we do know they told it to their first children, Cain and Abel and they probably performed it regularly (because we all know what people are like).

So then, the question is are you connected? If you are disconnected how do you get reconnected? Does the internet really connect us? That connection is false. It occurs through bits of data carried along a phone line or through a cable buried in the ground. It's electrical and part of the physics and chemistry of this natural world. It isn't true in that it is not ultimately satisfying. True and ultimate connectedness occurs with God, ourselves and with other human beings. God has provided a way to do that. That is the ultimate reason that I am writing this post. I share this because I believe these things to be true. I believe that I have connected with God through His only Son Jesus Christ. And if you are reading this post then He is also inviting you into that same connectedness. Don't hesitate. Really think about what is written here.

I don't think I understand all things very well. Very imperfectly definitely. But I do "get" this.